And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of  the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him (Gen. 2:18-20).

First, men work. Then they get married. These days, so do most Western women.

Here are some of my rambling thoughts on young (or old) men and courtship:

Get to know Dad.  Really.  Don't use him as a tool to get to his daughter.  If all goes well, he'll be your father-in-law and the grandfather to your children.  Respect him, too.  This takes a commitment that few young men are willing to submit to, I think.  The "courtship" model (perhaps spending plenty of time with her family, getting to know her with

As young women approach marriageable age, it is good and prudent to give thought to those qualities desirable in a future husband. Being a Christian and 98.6 degrees should not be enough. Ideally, daughters should have a good model in Dad, but sometimes, for various reasons, this is not the case. Nevertheless, Scripture provides light on the subject. The following list of questions may provide a start. These are not the only questions, but they do cover some of the more important bases.

The following discussion touches briefly on some of the major principles surrounding the role relationship of husbands and wives in marriage; it is by no means exhaustive, but it should serve as a starting point for further study. As you read this material, I encourage you to look up the verses that I have cited in my discussion--please see for yourself what God says about these important principles.

Neither Inferior nor Superior

By God's design, man and woman are one in essence (see Genesis 2:23), and are therefore equal in dignity, value, and glory (see Gal. 3:26-29). Although God himself has assigned husbands and wives different roles within marriage, the essential unity of man and woman leaves absolutely no room for concepts of inferiority or superiority.

"For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of Hosts is His Name" (Is. 54:5).

When young women make their wedding vows, they are seldom pondering how they will prepare for widowhood. And yet, many women, sooner or later, do become widows. My neighborhood is filled with large, older homes that house lonely little widows.

How should a young man seek a wife? What should his criteria be? First, a few important pointers on what not to do. Do not hand out xerox copies of this article at the college and career class at church, announcing in a loud voice that you are ready for the marital state, and are earnestly praying about it. That makes godly young women jumpy; they want to get married too, but not to a blunderbuss.

For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church . . . (Eph. 5:23)

We need to begin with a brief grammar lesson. When it comes to our reading of the Scripture, Christians frequently confuse indicatives and imperatives. An indicative is a statement of fact; there is no ought in it. An imperative, on the other hand, is a command; it tells us what we must do.

"Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves” (Hebrews 13:17)

God has given us His inscripturated word, unchanging, written in the Bible; He commissions the preacher to expound and apply that word to the situation facing us, driving it home in our lives as the carpenter drives the nail. The preacher speaks for God, because God has spoken in the Bible; His voice resounds with the familiar “Thus saith the Lord.” The church has the responsibility to listen, and to evaluate everything heard in light of God’s revealed truth.

We will consider the curious modern phenomenon of the unattached believer. This none-too-rare species fancies himself somehow to be a member of the universal church, but not of the local church. Like Joseph of Arimathea, he is “a disciple of Jesus, but secretly for fear of the Jews” (John 19:38).

Most of us would not consider ourselves to be gullible or naïve, yet Scripture often reminds us, "Do not be deceived." (e.g., James 1:16, Gal. 6:7). In truth, we are easily deceived, and we so often latch on to a piece of "worldly wisdom" that sounds good to us and justifies our actions, even if it is not at all based on the truth of God's word. Our very hearts fool us and hinder us from seeing situations clearly or accurately. Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

This article is directed to unmarried women, whether young and in their fathers’ households, older and on their own, or widows who would like to remarry. The principle is that you must guard your heart so that it does not become entangled emotionally without the protection of a covenant. Many of these exhortations that follow may seem a trifle negative, but believe me, the results will be positive.