Sometimes marriage difficulties are so tangled that it takes a lot of patience and faith to even begin the process of sorting them out and loosening all the knots that have accumulated. Just as with a ball of string that is full of snarls, it is tempting to just go get the scissors, cut out the mess, and start over. But in the case of a Christian marriage covenant, that is not the way out. (I am not speaking here of the exceptions allowed by Scripture for adultery.)

Among the many words which our century has trashed, words like awesome or gay, the word federal most certainly heads the list. The word makes us think of big, centralized things, things that make a collectivist's heart feel warm and cozy. We slap the word on institutions so that little old ladies will deposit their money there. Nobody names his bank Bob's Sunshine Bank; the name must be something which exudes solidity and bigness like First Federal Security does.

"For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of Hosts is His Name" (Is. 54:5).When young women make their wedding vows, they are seldom pondering how they will prepare for widowhood. And yet, many women, sooner or later, do become widows. My neighborhood is filled with large, older homes that house lonely little widows.

Our Lord obviously had a tenderness for widows; we see His concern for them in His condemnation of hypocrites. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you devour widows' houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. Therefore you will receive greater condemnation" (Matt. 23:14).

The subject strikes close to home--often the subject is close to home.

Years ago my husband and I were attending a church dinner where part of the program included asking all the "singles" in the church to stand. At that time there were only three, my oldest daughter and two young men. When my daughter's turn came to be introduced, my husband said, "She's not single. She's a daughter!"

As this is a bridal issue, it seemed good to write about the civil government's role in marriage. That's why this article is on divorce. No bridal issue would be complete without an article on divorce. Even in our day, there is no more solemn covenant entered among men than marriage. Yet the civil government has made it the easiest covenant to break.

Everyone dates. Or at least, everyone is supposed to date. Or, if they don't date, then something is wrong, or someone is ugly, right?

In modern America, recreational dating is taken to be a positive good, like food, air, and sunshine, a necessary, inescapable activity. It is considered to be a normal and natural part of growing up - what could be more wholesomely American than taking a girl to the prom? It makes us think of the fifties, when things weren't so messed up.

In America today, relationships between boys and girls, men and women, husbands and wives are a stretcher case. That pride is at the heart of this problem can be seen in the fact that the worse our troubles get, the more faith we have in our methods and procedures. Like the woman in Luke's gospel, the treatment we receive from our physicians does not really touch our condition. And like that woman, our livelihood is now up and gone (Luke 8:43). The starting point for most of our relationships, the modern dating system, can be safely considered as bankrupt.

The center must always be the law and wisdom of Scripture, and never our various actions and reactions. As the bankruptcy of the modern dating system becomes increasingly obvious, the temptation to react will be present with us on every side. But reactionary behavior is always destructive, and this does not even include the calamities brought on by overreaction.

So it isn't a fairy tale world after all. You read the courtship book(s), and you thought it sounded so easy. And maybe it was at first. But then came the crash. The whole thing fell through, blew up, unraveled, and came to a screeching halt. And whether you are the mother or the daughter, you still feel devastated and embarrassed that what seemed to be a good idea at the time obviously wasn't. And there goes your idea of the perfect couple and the perfect courtship. But before you give up on the whole idea, consider a few things first.