Most of us would not consider ourselves to be gullible or naïve, yet Scripture often reminds us, "Do not be deceived." (e.g., James 1:16, Gal. 6:7). In truth, we are easily deceived, and we so often latch on to a piece of "worldly wisdom" that sounds good to us and justifies our actions, even if it is not at all based on the truth of God's word. Our very hearts fool us and hinder us from seeing situations clearly or accurately. Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

In the same way, I have noticed over the years that Christians who are in the process of seeking a divorce often use same set of reasons to justify their decision to leave the marriage. I have heard the same excuses so often that I have wondered whether Satan has published a little booklet on how to justify a divorce. The excuses comprise what may be called a "popular divorce mythology."1

While Christians disagree about what constitutes legitimate grounds for divorce, it is clear that many Christians divorce for all the wrong reasons. We need people around us to speak truth to us and help us see our own blind spots so that we are not fooled by worldly wisdom or by the blindness in our own hearts. Perhaps you can play that role in the life of someone considering divorce. If you want to help them, you need to be prepared to respond to these excuses.

Myth #1
When the love has gone out of a marriage, it's better to get divorced. Although this is the world talking, Christians buy into it. The basis of marriage is not feelings of love--in God's design, commitment is the basis of marriage, and love is the fruit. For more on God's design for marriage, see Paul Tripp's booklet, Marriage: Whose Dream?

Myth #2
It's better for the children to go through a divorce than to live with parents who fight all the time. Although parents in a truly unhappy marriage may sincerely believe this, it is usually a superficial rationalization. One way to test their sincerity is to ask them to read Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, which clearly articulates the many detrimental effects of divorce. If they still decide to go through with a divorce after reading these facts, they usually have to admit that it's not the children they are looking out for, but their own selfish desires.

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Ken Sande is the Founder and President of Peacemaker Ministries

Source: http://www.peacemaker.net/site/apps/nlnet/content2.aspx?c=aqKFLTOBIpH&b=1043497&ct=1245397